Two days of (supposed) dieting and zero willpower down, I didn't lose an ounce. If anything, I gained it.
The scale showed 157 yesterday, but 1-fucking-60 today. POINT five. I did weigh myself earlier than I usually do...but still, it oughtn't to be that much.
God, I'm just a fat, ugly, horrible failure of an ana. I'm a cow, an elephant, any number of jungle beasts.
I take out my anger on my body by cutting it (like THAT makes sense) but do I do the normal thing and starve? No.
I'm sorry, this post isn't entertaining. And it won't be, until I get back on the right track. Clamber on the wagon I can't seem to get on these days. Pray that I find the strength, because this cycle of self hatred needs to end.
Will report back tomorrow, when (hopefully) I'll be thinner. Either way...I'll be here.
Hope you all have better luck, and are HAVING better luck, and willpower and strength, than me.
