151 today

I suppose that's what having a lot of vigorous sex will do for you.

Slip-up

So I've been eating (semi-normally, never breaking a 1000) for 3 days straight.
Result? I'm now 158. I see now that you can NEVER go back to eating normally. Just a week ago-ish I was 145. Now I'm a mere 10 pounds away from my highest weight.

I'm so sorry for letting you all (and myself!) down like this. But I promise, no more of this. From tomorrow I will be very strict with myself. Went to the mall today and bought tonnes of cute clothes, none of which fit me. Or, to be more accurate, they FIT me, but I look like a woolly mammoth in them.

Aargh. I need to give my body what it wants. And what it wants is to be thin.

Report back tomorrow morning when hopefully I will at least be 155 again.

What.The.Fuck

So I just weighed myself and I'm ONE FIFTY FIVE pounds. How?

I was 145 THIS MORNING. I know I don't usually weigh myself at night, but still! Ten pounds in 24 hours? And I didn't go over 300-400 cals today. (AND it's a new scale, which means it can't be wrong.)

Fine. Fuck this. I'm seriously depressed. This means I only lost 10 pounds since kick off point. I can't even believe it.

I can't be a fucking fat ass for ever. It's time to get out the big guns. Tomorrow morning I'll weigh myself again (and hopefully I'll have lost weight), but either way it's ZERO cals tomorrow. I don't care if it's going to make me pass out, or feel nauseous - I gotta, gotta, gotta do this.

:( - is how I feel right now. And I was having such a good day...Why is the world - and the weighing scales - so messed up?

Breathe, I remind myself. I was actually suspicious when I saw 145 this morning. I knew it was too good to be true.

No-one ever said it was going to be easy.

Twenty pounds since kick-off!

I am incredibly hungry and craving the sensation of food in my mouth, but am NOT about to jeopardize everything I'm working towards. My skinny jeans, as previously reported, are finally fitting just right (there's still a little bit of muffin top) and the number on the scale is 145 lbs. Just last night it was 153.5, but then I had to dash to the loo - I hadn't gone in three days! and...well...the rest may be mercifully skipped over. Suffice it to say there was a violent expulsion (enema-style) of any refuse my body was holding on to. Thus the water weight was lost.

Now I just have to be careful to not slip up. I've come a ways but there's a LONG way left to get to 115. That's still thirty pounds away and hopefully by the time it happens, I'll have a perfectly flat stomach, narrow sides, and concave cheekbones. If not - well, I'll have to get to 100 pounds like Keira, but one step at a time.

Intake so far today? One pear and a glass of OJ. But I did exercise this morning. And now that the weekend is over, no excess calories are being consumed in the form of alcohol. For dinner, I'll have a cup of sprouts and a bottle of Diet Coke.

Gonna take a mini-nap now, so TTYL. I'll leave you with some thinspo, since my blog is looking a little bit bare.

Good news!!!

Yes, that post title did most certainly merit THREE exclamation marks.

You know how discouraged I've been lately. No visible results were really getting me down. But I am the same weight (AFTER my candy binge) and I fit into my skinny jeans!

More later...

Binge day

Total, total binge day. I went mad. Weighed 70.5 this morning, was doing well (only 200) and then ate like mad. And of all things, I binged on CANDY. Lollipops (3), Twizzlers mini packs (FIVE), a roll of Smarties, and two packs of Nerds. Wow. I feel like Augustus Gloop.

Disgusting.

I'll weigh myself tomorrow, I'll be thrilled if I am somehow (but miracles don't happen) the same weight.

:( At this rate, when will I ever break 70? Still, am keeping chin up. Now that I've gotten all the candy cravings out of my system, I will be stronger tomorrow, simply because I CANNOT face this blog if I am not.

Thoughts on white shorts

The other night, I was chilling with some friends, thinking about going to this White Party at another campus( Yeah right, when I'm the size of a fucking whale), when one of them held out a pair of white shorts.

Beautiful, teeny-tiny white denim shorts.

My other friend tried them on, after moaning that she wasn't a size 0 anymore. (Of course, everyone else in the room was much, much thinner than me.) And the sight of the 2 pants (26 inch waist) riding effortlessly up her long, lean thighs was fantastic thinspo. Currently I'm a size 8-10.

I have to, have to, HAVE to be able to fit into a size 2. My friend does, and she's TWO whole inches taller than me. I can't even wait for the day when I'm a 0-2.

Guys only like thin girls. Without cellulite or flab. Who can wear the teensiest of white shorts and rock them.

I have to be one of the beautiful girls. I have a pretty face (don't you just hate when everyone says that and then pointedly looks at your flabby body?) and I have to respect myself enough to be pretty all through.

At least it's good - if a tad depressing - thinspo.

800? I don't think I broke a 1000, thank heaven

Ugh, I made it an eating day today.

Pack of crisps -100 cals
Energy bar-100 cals
Plate of salad-300 cals
Cone of fat-free fro-yo-200 cals

700 cals, maybe even 800. How terrible! Of course, I did walk a fair bit today. And at least I ate dinner early - not another bite more. The good thing is that maybe my metabolism will speed up again, because I can't have ANY food tomorrow to make up for today's debacle.

In other news, I'm gonna buy a weighing scale tomorrow. Eeks.

Back on track

Since I've been crossing continents (and lugging way too much luggage-let's hope I get some major arm muscle definition!) I've been way too busy to update, but I am very happy to announce that I am indeed back on track.

Current weight: 70.4 kilograms, or 156 pounds. The first (of many milestones) has been reached. Plus I've even got a few comments on my weight loss thus far.

The bad news? I've been eating six to seven hundred calories a day. Way too much for me, but from tomorrow, when school starts, I'll snap into a much more Spartan regime. And I promise daily posts.

Until next time, think thin.

Can't wait

Off today, when THE JOURNEY TO THIN BEGINS.

See you all in about 5 kilos.