FUCKetty fuck.

I'm 150. Which is better, I suppose. It's been 500 cals every day for the last three days. But I can't even be excited over the fact that I'm so close to the 140s because I'm too busy thinking about W, and how spectacularly the possibility of something failed.

Of course, I was stupid. I know it. Thinking that a random hookup could turn into something more. I'm going to Boston tomorrow, and I was SO excited to see him. But when I texted him that I was coming, he texted back this word that I didn't understand. I asked him about it and he didn't reply. Then I go on his facebook and see multiple posts from this other girl - whose name just happens to be the same as that word. FML.

I don't know, I mean, I know there are so many women all over him, but I just never thought that he wouldn't even have my number in his new phone. I never thought that when I texted him "Guess who's coming to Boston?:)" the first person he'd think of would be someone ELSE. I never thought that I wouldnt even be excited by the return of my weight loss.

I don't know. I'm just...lonely. And I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.