Lately I have been such a failure.
First of all, I weigh 157. Two pounds gained in ONE day. How is that possible? Wait, I'll tell you, because I binged like mad last night. Mum baked an apple pie for my brother and I stuffed great handfuls of it into my mouth -oh, the warm buttery crust - after everyone had gone to bed.
But of course, I didn't stop there. No siree.
Secondly, I went to a party Saturday night. I wore my waist-binding skirt and a black top that I could swear made me look waifish and slender. So I was happy. And I saw this fairly chubby, nondescript girl, who seemed familiar. As I was perkily asking her if she was sure we hadn't met before, a thin-as-a-reed chap in the corner piped up, yeah! You've met at VLCC!
VLCC is a weight-loss clinic mostly patronized by the extremely obese.
I stared in shock at him as he dissolved into laughter.
What am I thinking? I am NOT waifish. I am FAT. So fat that strangers say it to my face. I drank a whole half bottle of vodka, went home and cut myself while I cried.
Please help me. I am so miserable. Dear Ana, please help me. I need to not eat today. I NEED to get back to 155 by tomorrow so I can start losing more and never be fat again. Things will be different then. Today I'm just a sad fat sack. A heartbroken one.
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